Tuesday, 25 October 2011

the unbearable heat of romance

Those butterflies we feel in our stomach with the appearance of a new connection can be the best part of the beginnings of romance. They can also be the absolute worst. The anticipation and the time spent wondering what the other person's true feelings are can be nauseating, particularly if you're the kind of person who doesn't deal well with uncertainty or tends to feel insecure in new situations. The Two of Cups speaks of these butterflies. It doesn't always indicate romantic connection -sometimes it can be an intense new friendship or, occasionally, a new business partnership- but more often than not it's a sign that love's beginnings are making the querent feel dizzy and delirious with joy and dread all at once.

The most important message this card has to offer is one of caution and calm. Don't try to over-analyse the situation or pressure the other person to say more than they're ready to admit. Keep some mystery. Oscar Wilde said that women ruin every romance by trying to make it last forever. I'd argue that this can be equally true for men, although women do tend to drive the point home! Let romance wash over you like a slow sea of wonderful sensations. Attempting to define it and pin it down is only going to leave you feeling more unsure. If you feel unable to trust the amorous feelings of your new partner, perhaps it's because you don't have enough self-worth to be able to see how attractive you are to others. If you're trying to pick holes in something that seems to be running smoothly and giving you enjoyment, you need to consider the possibility that you try to sabotage the good things in your life because deep down you feel unworthy.

Approach the situation with a level head. Don't become infatuated or too eager. Keep your own independent life and let them keep theirs. I'm not saying you should be dishonest or play it too cool, only that it's ok to let things cook over time rather than attempting to flash fry or microwave to get to the end result. You can't argue with time. Time is in control and the more you shout at it and make demands, the slower time will seem to go, and that can be agonizing!

Look at how you deal with positive attention from others? Are you immediately eager to please to the extent that you compromise your own desires? Or do you go in the opposite direction and immediately push your admirer away?