Friday, 22 February 2013

consulting the oracle

I rarely do readings for myself. That's not to say that Tarot doesn't help me with my everyday thoughts, decisions and dilemmas, but it's in more of an organic way; I suppose you could say that Tarot is always with me. Something might happen to remind me of a Tarot card. Or I'll need to work out where I stand in a situation, so I'll start thinking of the whole thing in Tarot terms, for clarity. But sitting down and actually drawing cards for myself isn't something I do even semi-regularly. I've often wondered if perhaps this is strange. But it's obvious that the tool is so personal and works on so many different levels that I guess I fall on a spectrum somewhere between those who only study it from some kind of scholarly distance and those who do readings for themselves every single day. An ex-boyfriend took this picture of me as I was going through my cards in a reflective mood. Tonight I guess I felt more reflective than usual, since I've broken out my new Psychic Tarot Oracle deck and pulled four cards for myself. Sometimes it's good to take stock.

I drew cards to give me messages for spiritual, emotional, mental and physical issues at the moment. The spiritual aspect of my life is represented by the Base Chakra card. This message seems fitting, since my spirituality is becoming ever more solid and undeniable these days, and the base chakra taps into the importance of foundations, stability, survival and self-awareness. When your base chakra is opened and exercised healthily, it's supposed to help you know your place, come to terms with your needs and work out how to be real. That's the long and short of what my spiritual journey has been about lately, particularly when it comes to deepening my understanding of certain magickal systems and feeling more comfortable with opening up. I used to let a lot of my spiritual interests and beliefs float around on the periphery, somehow believing them to be too far out or too difficult to integrate into the rest of Kelly-Ann. But now I feel my core strengthening on a daily basis. I feel like I'm truly ready to own a lot of the shit I was pretending didn't belong to me. The advice that I take from this card is just to carry on with the good work. But also to be realistic and kind to myself about what's achievable in any particular time frame.

The card to represent the emotional realm is Deception and Envy. This is an interesting thing to think about, since my boyfriend and I were actually robbed the other night by a friend of a friend who needed a place to stay and ended up on our couch. He took a laptop and a games console from us. It was pretty shocking, since my house mate had taken him in, supported him through a difficult time and would never have suspected that he'd end up stealing possessions from the house to buy drugs. Although I have been typically zen about the whole incident (and discouraged friends of ours from seeking any kind of vengeance), beneath it all, it did affect me. I just felt a little invaded and surprised that my house mate had been treated with so little respect; I wasn't sad about our stuff, but I was sad about that. There are also one or two friendship issues I've been dealing with lately, in terms of fractures amongst a group of people I spend a lot of social time with. I am not directly involved in any of it, but the energies are rather sticky, so this card made me think about that. I would say that the advice I could take from it would be to go with my heart and trust my judgements. Also, to consider that people have their own issues and viewpoints which they hide away from their surface appearance. Maybe they seem to be callous when truly they're sad. Maybe they seem angry when really they're scared..

The cerebral realm is represented by the New Beginnings card, which is perfect. I have started my Spiritual Counselling self-study diploma and will be working on others this year too. I just received five new books in the post, most of them centred around the more exacting points of chaos magick and other wormholes within the 'left-hand path'. I feel as though I'm riding on some kind of intellectual trajectory at the moment, and who knows how long it will last? But I'll savour it while it does. In many ways, I feel like a new-born witch, breathing in the crisp, living air of some wonderful Sabbat eve. The inspiration and the desire for knowledge are overwhelming. The New Beginnings card has an illustration of a woman who's walked through a doorway and out onto the globe itself, taking her first tentative steps as a new version of herself.

The physical aspect is represented by Prosperity Beginnings. Well, this is fitting, since we get paid tomorrow and I'm planning on buying some delicious healthy food for this weekend! But it's all too easy to be fickle about the message which pertains to physicality, since it's always the area that I'm the least invested in. If I was going to be serious for a second, I'd say that this card is telling me to consider some of the bad habits which aren't helping my body to be at its optimum in terms of well-being. And to buy a wider range of foods more of the time, instead of getting so damn lazy. Variety is the spice of life!