Saturday, 16 March 2013
Even if you're 100% sure of where you stand on something, speaking your truth so that others hear it can be a tough challenge. What are the key things that hold us back from speaking our personal truths? We're afraid of hurting the people we love. We're scared that things may change in an undesirable -even catastrophic- way if our truth is not accepted. We're worried about the perceptions of those on the sidelines who may judge, meddle, gloat or manipulate. We were raised in a family of secretive, reserved types who disapproved of frank honesty. Most of the time, once we know that our words must find their way into the air, it's all down to courage. Taking that deep breath and starting the sentence which might alter a friendship, change someone's perception or even change the trajectory of your life is indeed an endeavour which requires true bravery (and don't ever let anyone tell you any different). At least once in your life, someone will tell you that you can't take words back. And that's true. You can graciously ask to rephrase them. You can say that they were uttered in a moment of blind rage or fear and therefore weren't the greatest expression of your true feelings. But those words have done their work to shift something which started that chain of corrections in the first place, so they still altered the landscape of your life. Words are powerful, whether people choose to accept that or not.
If you're reading this and thinking, 'There's something I really need to say to someone', here are some words (which are as wise as your personal perception deems them to be) to help to ease your mind.
You only live once. Yes, even if you believe in reincarnation, this still stands. You only live once as the person you are now in this lifetime and you'd be a smart cookie to believe that this fact really counts for something. You deserve the life that you desire. And I'm not talking about the times that we find ourselves looking at someone else's life and wishing we had theirs. That's escapism. I'm not talking about the fact that you deserve a big house and all the toys. The fallacy of money equalling happiness isn't where I'm going with this. I'm saying - you deserve to live authentically; you deserve to be the author of your own life. If you're not writing your own story, you need to pick up the pen. Whatever prevents you from feeling that you don't have that right - kill it with words. Carefully chosen, truly potent words which will free you from any shackles that bind you to a place you no longer wish to inhabit.
Accountability is nine tenths of empowerment. In my humble opinion. You are just as responsible for the words you don't say as the words you do. Once you accept that the words you hold back may be holding you back from taking your life to the next level, you have to act. Taking responsibility for where your life is going means being bold. You can do it. And you must.
What do the words you're holding inside of you really mean? Are they are a doorway into the future? Is that what scares you? Consider the words which are superfluous and the ones which are truly necessary. Consider which words come from the purest possible place. Celebrate your words. Cherish them. Consider your personal journey with language. Your first word. The time in your childhood during which you managed to begin expressing emotions for the first time. Which words were the ones that first hurt you? Why did they hurt you? Which words raised you up? How have they helped you in different ways at different times? When you think about the emotional structure of words as they apply to you, you can come to honour their power in a way which is truly meaningful.