It's time to get truly serious about where we spend our energy and what we truly want to manifest. Sometimes the dead weight hanging around our necks is particularly noticeable around Beltane, when we need to be nimble on our feet and sharp in our intellect to really get the most out of the high energy season.
The coming of summer often reminds me of what I was up to this time last year. I'd just gone back into the working world again after a year of illness. My heart had been reignited by new love and everything seemed to be 'coming up roses'. I felt that I was truly taking control of my life again and I felt more spiritually centred than I had in years. I truly began to appreciate the strong support system that surrounded me as I made my way back into full-on living after a time of being The Hermit in so many ways. I also made a few new friends last summer at the Boomtown festival and those connections have deepened and are now truly bound by the memories we've sewn together since then. But what did I have to let go of to feel these wonderful, positive things? What was I releasing? What had to be destroyed? For one, I had to banish the feelings of fear which surrounded the idea of close friendships. I'd been burned by two friends I loved dearly and we parted ways with all the sorrow and drama that separation usually entails. After that, I wanted to clam up, to pre-judge and to be defensive. But I couldn't deny my higher self, and eventually it won and I dropped the limiting beliefs which almost caused me to reject new connections.
I also put a lot of my tightly-held visions of the future into the fire last summer. I released those ideals which kept me shackled and recognised that there were many different roads I could take and that I couldn't afford to only believe in one of those roads. I had to embrace the trepidation that comes with not knowing. The last time Beltane rolled around, I had permitted myself to be an out-and-proud spiritual being once more but I hadn't yet permitted myself to live life day by day. I was gripping on tightly to an idealised view of success and it was tough letting that go. But it was, in essence, the spiritual thing to do.
Summer reminds us to live for the now. There's somehow this energy inside of it which encourages action, adventure and spontaneity, in polar opposition to the quiet, contemplative darkness of my belovéd Samhain. I used to hate summer as a kid. It was too hot, I didn't like adults applying sun lotion to my skin and I hated playing games with other children so I was always sulking in the shade with a book. As a teenager I self-harmed, so my arms always had to be covered. I found the clothes cumbersome in the heat and the smiles and ice creams in the street didn't really gel with my love of grunge and my tendency to write miserable poems about the depths of my alienation. These days, I'm a brighter being. I still get frustrated with intense heat, but I love the powerful energy of community put forth by the summer months. The opportunities for gatherings leave my head spinning with inspiration (not to mentioned ice cold alcoholic drinks). There's something so primal and immediate about summer. It asks us to forget what's gone before. It asks us not to dwell on what can't be changed. Eat, drink and be merry because this life is not forever.
For a Beltane Tarot experience, pick up one of my Beltane Heart readings. Much love to you all during this countdown to wonderful things.