Wednesday, 29 May 2013
authenticity comes from awareness
For example, I know that when I'm angry my authentic response comes from a place of speaking my truth, owning my power and arguing for consensus. If I'm not aware that I'm angry, if I'm trying to deny that I'm angry or I haven't accepted that I'm angry, I can't reach my authentic response. Instead I might respond by attacking someone's personality rather than their behaviour, which is not my honest, authentic point of view but a stance which I've taken out of fear. I might run away, slam the door, ignore someone's calls. In reality, I genuinely want to work through the issue, but I can't operate authentically because I'm not in touch with the fact that I'm angry - I'm more concerned with holding onto superiority or avoiding the difficulty of facing the problem.
In your romantic connection your awareness of your emotions is the key to dealing with them authentically. If you're feeling defensive, you need to be aware of it. Write it down. Say it to your reflection: 'I feel defensive.' If you feel disappointed, own that feeling. You don't have to stay there - you can move beyond it. But a feeling is like a piece of land: You can't use the map to get somewhere else unless you work out where you're at right now.