Sunday, 6 April 2014
my truth about the moon
I used to believe that The Moon was about separating truth from lies. I still believe that, but the parameters have changed. When your heart is crushed underfoot by someone you loved fiercely, don't kid yourself that they will see the experience in the same way you do. They're not likely to see themselves as the villain. It's no sure thing that they will beat themselves up or wish that they'd treated you differently. They are likely to have their own version of events and that version is none of your business. You won't like it and you won't think it's fair. It will turn your blood to mud.
The real beauty of The Moon is not in insistence, adamance or the desire to believe that you hold the keys to the truth. The real beauty lies in the notion that you can appreciate the times when you were lying to yourself. When did you cheat yourself? When did you hang up on your intuition? Witness those moments in which you stopped yourself from walking out even though it killed you to stay. Witness the moments you spent in silence when all you wanted to do was speak. When did you last abandon yourself?
It is radical to answer these questions. Do it raw. Don't paint over the process. That's where you can begin to craft your soul into something that shines. Apologise to yourself. Tell yourself you'll be stronger in your core next time. Tell yourself that your experience has enriched you to the point of unapologetic, deep green self-love. Say, 'I won't go there again because I love myself too much.'