Your life is what you make of it and even the most tumultuous times can be used to your advantage and valued for the lessons they offer - it's all about perception.
The Nine of Swords is telling you to change your way of looking at what's happening. It is telling you that you need to comfort yourself, fortify yourself with good counsel and see your challenges as opportunities. It's possible that you're working yourself into an unnecessary frenzy over something that can be worked out calmly. You may be colouring your situation in an overtly negative light without realising how it could be helpful to you in the long run. You may be concentrating too much on the future and convincing yourself that it's going to be horrible. Fixating on an abstract point in time which hasn't yet come to pass is dangerous because it takes your focus away from the here and now, which is the only time at which you can actually act. Worry and despair often serves to make your situation worse. What you should be doing is working out how to change what's not working and address your pain in a way that promotes forward motion.
If you're blaming yourself for something all the time, stop. If you're talking down to yourself or convincing yourself that you can't have the life you want, stop. This is no time to be your own worst enemy. Hold your own hand and see yourself through.