Sunday, 17 February 2013

my heart

I often talk about the importance of developing, harnessing and appreciating the value of 'the witch's heart'. I'm not entirely certain where I picked up this term and I'm also not sure that others who may use it will have a similar idea of what it means.. When The High Priestess shows up in Tarot readings, I am reminded of my own view on 'the witch's heart', which I suppose would suggest that I associate it with the brave use of intuition and the importance of self-knowledge. But that's only part of the puzzle.

For me, the heart of the witch comprises all five disciplines of the witch's pyramid: To dare, to will, to know, to keep silent and to go. If I had to provide some kind of foundation on which my definition could be built, this would be it. To dare is to find the courage of your convictions. In doing this, you push your boundaries, you learn your lessons and you acquire your deeper wisdom. To will is to understand that you direct harnessed energy according to your agenda - so your agenda had better be something you believe in. To know: don't ever stop wanting to learn. Keep striving for the next plateau. I believe that the heart of the witch is a heart that longs for more answers and isn't afraid of more questions. To keep silent is to listen. Quite aside from the fact that the witch's heart is a heart which needs no approval from the outside world, nor any shock value or recognition from it, silence is also about shutting up for long enough to hear someone or something else speak. And to go is to love the goal enough to move towards it - all mouth and no action is something that is poison for the witch's heart.

Of course, there could be no accepted definition for the heart of every witch. The path is so personal to each of us. For me personally, I want as much of my heart to be available to divinity as possible. Malice for other spiritualists, criticism for their practices and whatever else is a waste of precious energy and it always surprises me to see witches openly engaging in it. But I also accept that I am young on my path in terms of only just 'owning' the word 'witch' again after a long time of distancing myself from it, treating it with suspicion or otherwise failing to relate to any of its myriad of meanings. I always knew I was a witch. But it was deeper down than I wanted to explore. As a kid, it came naturally. And I relished it. As an adult, I lost it. Or I thought that it would mean something that I didn't want it to mean.

I have learned, through reading, exploring my own heart and actively engaging with other witches, that I can have this word in my life without any compromises being made. I have learned that it can mean what I want it to mean and that I can carve out my own path and be proud of that. For a long time I failed to tell myself that this was possible, and I believe that I suffered for it. But I still can't say with any certainty that I will adopt this term for the rest of my life. I guess I just don't carve things into rock very often anymore. But as each day unfolds, I do feel my heart strengthening. When I pull back from the edge instead of jumping off, those are the times that my heartbeat slows.