Monday, 29 April 2013

you're entitled to be glad, and so am I

I'm still reeling from the delight. I'm still feeling the buzz. When I opened the shop I had this crazy dream that people would click 'Add to Cart' on the basis that they sought personal development, empowerment, emotional clarity, spiritual guidance, a kick-start to the next leg of their own incredible journey.. I had this vision for Tarot's future and my own hand in making that future a reality. I wanted to carve out my own little place in which to show people how to dance to the beat of their own drum - the only drum worth dancing to, after all. Last weekend I made my 200th sale and suddenly something in me clicked: This is a big part of what I want to do with the rest of my time on Earth. 

I used to think that maybe, just maybe, I had to make a straight up choice between writing and the personal development thing. I knew I wanted to become a qualified Spiritual Counsellor, as a form of proof to myself that my own incredible journey could be recognised, and I made that happen this year. But I always felt that I couldn't take my life in both directions. Writing or helping - it would have to be a crossroads of sorts and I'd have to choose wisely. The truth is now becoming apparent: I am writing and helping and I'm doing that every day. My words can bring people closer to their personal power. My empathy and my words are closely linked. And now I just want my mother tongue to explode into my life and everyone else's, more than I've ever wanted that before. I somehow found a way to tie both passions into my life and I'll keep experimenting with that, not for glory, not for praise, just for the sheer joy of it. Once you've told yourself you're entitled to be glad, you know you're on the fast track to total appreciation of the reality you're in, not the one you're waiting for.

I would like those who have an interest in me as a person to get closer to the action. I don't want to hide so much - I want us all to tie our incredibly intricate stories together in a whirl of experience and discovery. I am spending the month of May here at the blog writing about relationship issues, matters of the heart, break-ups, break downs, repairing those breakages -both inner and outer- which leave that sense of desolation when things go wrong.. I will start with myself. My personal heartbreak and what it showed me, the way I felt I was holding my heart in my own hand for the very first time, knowing that I could nurse it back to health or throw it against the wall - it was my choice.

I want to bring more of my personal trials onto the blog in a way that charts a chaotic and creative journey from then to now and beyond. I am ready to be a big, shiny mirror of what I urge others to see and accept in themselves.

I have no impatience in me. No grand plans, no sense of urgency, no desire to be bigger, better or more well known. I have no ego drives behind anything I do. I am free of all that complex muck - I am free to simply feel so blessed to have the opportunity to step into someone else's journey for even a second in time and tie something from my heart space onto something from theirs. This is the moment at which I really know I'm alive for the right reasons. 

Much love x