Monday, 24 June 2013

getting personal

It's time for some ruminations following my incredible trip to Stonehenge for Litha. Since returning back home I've been filled with this insatiable energy - the kind which feels wholly positive and deeply important. I feel so blessed to have been a part of it and I've come away as even more of an animist than when I arrived. Those stones feel like dependable old souls, welcoming, comforting, all-knowing. The energy which pulsed through the site and around all of us was blatant and potent. It now lives beneath my skin and the sound of the drums is in my ears like the sound of the sea that lives in shells.

Before I left, I already felt the power of the healing energies which I've always believed surround Litha so completely. I reached out and made contact with an old friend. She and I grew apart in the last few years and although she's tried to get in touch and make amends, I always kept my distance. As Litha approached, I felt this incredible belief in the importance of mending broken human connections and I asked her to come with me and our friends to Stonehenge. The trip completely healed the rift between us and generated a wonderful feeling of unity and excitement for the future. Strangely, this also led to new understandings and uncovered truths regarding another connection which had gone awry and we are now able to tie the loose ends together and start to get people talking again. Everyone at Stonehenge that day appeared to have a genuinely mystical and nurturing experience. My boyfriend felt massively connected to the earth in a way he's not experienced since being a child and is now interested in studying Gaia because he had visions/thoughts of her whilst dancing.

Settling down today to some Opium incense at my sweet little bedside Bast shrine, it occurred to me that this may well be the most important spiritual time of my life so far. Something has shifted so undeniably in the last year that there is categorically no going back. Although there have been times in my past when I've been able to concede that things change and that I could always wake up tomorrow with a different idea -indeed even becoming anti-spiritual- I can no longer even entertain that kind of notion. It seems I'm 'strong in the earth', as I like to call it.

I don't spend a great deal of time writing about my personal path on this blog, nor do I wish to delve too much into its complexities over on Youtube. I've never felt the need to talk about my path at length with others and I do write a great deal about it, recording its twists and turns for my own personal records and future reflections. It has been nice to find out that other people are inspired by my thoughts on witchcraft, specifically with regard to my views on creativity in magick. But it's important to know where one's personal boundaries are and what one wants to keep secret, I suppose. I have toyed on and off with starting a blog which is centred around my explorations of chaos magick, but each time my intuition keeps leading me away from writing for an audience and instead steers me towards continuing with my private, hand-written accounts.

I really love writing and making videos about Tarot and spiritual counselling, both of which are massive passions for me. Although there is a part of me that wants to be more open about the witchcraft side of things (particularly since some of the methods I'm using are bloody effective and I want to 'share the wealth') there is a strange sensation of being a lone traveller, catapulting through the astral realm, writing the rules frantically in star dust as I go only to discard them moments later in favour of following a white rabbit..

"I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's; 
I will not reason and compare: my business is to create." 
William Blake

Thank you to those who've followed me, communicated with me, supported me and exchanged ideas with me so far. My journey into the online world has been an enriching and revealing one and long may it continue. Many solitary witches and spiritualists may always harbour a degree of conflict within them when they consider how much to share and what to hold back. I think it'll always be an area of significance for me, but one thing I can confirm is that the sense of community has enriched me at this important stage in my development.