Friday, 26 July 2013

unadulterated grace

This little slice of cyberspace is my baby. It's my port in a storm. The first post I wrote was about the Death card, which seems to offer a powerful punch of synchronicity as I reach the end of  a cycle and open my arms to embrace what's to come. There are going to be a few small changes here. If you're a regular reader you'll notice that the handy indexes in the sidebar have gone the way of the dodo. I'm still going to be writing about Tarot (of course) and about wider aspects of spiritual counselling and personal growth, but the indexes were stressing me out and making things feel rigid and strict. I was pressurising myself into being 'well rounded' and writing a little bit about everything, rather than simply giving myself to what's calling me. I was feeling guilty for not yet completing the Tarot definitions and it was becoming more a chore than a healthy goal. I've inserted an archive bar and a search bar so that you can look for specific cards or subjects. This frees me up to just go with the flow.

Flow is a big word for me at the moment. I wanna be like the river. Lately I've been thinking a lot about spiritual hedonism. It's good to go where you find joy and intrigue and fire. So many people find themselves stunted on the spiritual journey because they tell themselves that everything needs to fit together and make sense and be rational. When you're building your own unique spiritual practice, you might find that you're drawn to Buddhist meditation techniques and Wiccan spellcraft and shamanic vision quests. My point of view is simple - don't cut yourself off from the thrill of experience through being too concerned with what's what. Allowing your practice to come together out of the fragments and shards of what's joyful and enlivening will surely lead to good things. Before asking yourself what you think about it, ask yourself how it makes you feel.It might look like a mish-mash of unrelated phenomena from the outside, but when you're dancing in the centre, it feels like unadulterated grace.

I love writing. Whenever someone sees me hunched over a notebook or laptop, I'm sure it must be obvious that I've gone to my happy place. I've surrendered to joy. I'm like the river. I'm simply allowing as fast as my humble hands can keep up! I just want to do more of that with no self-made demands. For me, the last thing on Earth that should end up feeling like a trap is writing. I feel my skin glowing from the green rays of the heart chakra when I'm writing about spirituality, healing, authenticity, creative power, personal truth.. I have so many stories to tell. I don't want to tick all the boxes - I don't want a quota to fill. I don't want to let my inner saboteur drive. I want to tell people what I've learned about rock bottom. I want to let my words enclose my heart like vines around an old house. I want to tell people how I looked into the mirror again. I want to tell people what it's like inside my body. I want to offer up every cell and know that it's still mine. Nothing gives me a greater thrill than my own sincere permission.