Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Holy Hunches and Suggestions for Brightness

I'm obviously not alone in feeling the incredible intensity of the changeover this time around. Whilst I'm no stranger to the idea that people become more attuned with external energies and internal perceptions as they become more spiritually aware, I somehow feel that this shift has touched people who wouldn't describe themselves as 'spiritual' - even people who shudder at the term, 'energetic shift'. Something is going on in the collective consciousness to a palpable extent. I am drinking it in. (This video offers a report on some of the key themes I saw in 2014 and how I feel about the changeover.)

Sometimes I think that there's a distinct difference between personal downloads -the ones which are just for you to absorb- and downloads which seem to insist upon being shared. That second kind have a collectivistic flavour to them. It's as if you can choose to cast them over anyone who cares to consider them - as if they are blessings from your soul outwards. In this first blog post of 2015, you'll find more of that kind of thing. Things I've learned or witnessed, holy hunches, long-lost realisations and suggestions for more brightness, boldness and beauty.


Know that you can communicate with your body. You can come to understand its whirring and wittering. Its language can be tangled and frustrating. You may never conjugate every verb and learn every colloquialism - you may never be 'fluent'. But you can learn enough to be able to ask it what it wants, heed its warnings and appreciate its needs.

Know that slowing down and steadying your pace is not synonymous with failure. Respecting your body and adhering to its timetable is wise and there's nothing pathetic about it. The vast machine of the economy relies on your belief that listening to your own needs is cowardly. It relies on you taking zero sick days, asking for zero help, lodging zero complaints.

Are you one of those people who always tells others that their health should come before any other obligation, yet you always put your own health last? It's time for change.

Feel free to have a host of epiphanies about your very own mind-body connection and just how wondrous it is. Feel free to see the answers which are already waiting for you.

Declare 2015 to be the year in which you accept, embrace, appreciate and love your body.

The joints in your fingers are miracles. The little white houses connected by strange tunnels forms the spine from which messages launch like fireworks. Take a look at the whole thing with wide eyes. Even if you experience pain sometimes. Even if things don't work as advertised. Even if you feel as though you're not quite at home some days. You can hardly deny that the body is a tremendous thing.

December 10th 2014  marked my one year anniversary of being free of all prescription pain medication. I still vividly recall the day I decided that the pills were doing more harm than good, causing fatigue, dependency and disempowerment. I decided to get off the carousel of doctor's appointments and blister packs. I decided to start from the very beginning, listening to my body and exploring avenues which put me and my emotions back at the centre of the equation. I stopped huddling on the sidelines of professional medical opinions. I tuned in.

Once I realised how incredibly powerful the human mind really is in relation to pain, I also needed to learn my new limitations. After discovering that I could bring so much power and majesty to my injury, helping myself to heal and thrive, I also needed to become newly aware of where the line was and how to avoid stepping over it. Understanding how to use my mindset and the flow of my energy to improve my physical issues is not the same as miraculously reversing them. 2014 was a year of learning how to play by my body's rules, letting it take the lead. Ego needs to take a back seat in order for that to happen. Ego needs to switch from ice to water.

When it comes to what you choose to wear, write your own rules.


Reminders / Mantras / Chants / Quotes / Sutras / Thing to return to
This stuff is the stuff of wonderment.
Create a sacred cycle. Change it up when you feel called.
Don't apologise for it.
Find words which break you into shards and then fashion you into a stronger shape.
Go to words when your heart is available to take the call.
Go to words when you're bold enough to let them kick up the dust.

Make 2015 into a year of unconditional growth and discovery. Notice the dark corner which you avoid at all costs, or the all-too-precious thing which you've placed under glass and refuse to let anyone touch. When you pledge to permit yourself to grow, that's a commitment which needs to access all areas. If you are unwilling to look at your central relationship, your memories of your mother or those consistent niggles about your chosen career path, your growth is conditional. To official make it unconditional is simply to become The Fool. Release all expectations, kneel to the shrine of beginner's mind, open up, jump off, bloom unabashedly and with no thought for tomorrow.

It can be hard to know that you may, in your shadow work and self-exploration, discover that you need to leave the place where you've been lounging comfortably for months (or even years). I always think of Thomas Wolfe: 'To lose the earth you know, for greater knowing; to lose the life you have, for greater life; to leave the friends you loved, for greater loving; to find a land more kind than home, more large than earth..'

Just because you need to release something familiar doesn't mean you won't receive something gorgeous and exciting in exchange. 

Some people want you to help them but they never seem to want to help themselves. Sooner or later you need to decide how much of your energy those people deserve. This is always sad and never avoidable. I do not consider this to be anathema to what it means to be 'spiritual' because I have re-learned this lesson in my own life in the last week and I feel elevated as a direct result of it. Somehow, I seem to have pieced something back together. Self-preservation is holy.

Your limiting beliefs are the beliefs which truly limit you. Many of those beliefs are not the ones you consciously chose but the ones which slipped through the back door of your mind when you weren't looking, or when you were too young to reach the lock and secure the house. You deserve more than a life lived in the service of limiting beliefs. Cast them off.


The divine feminine is a diamond. Many many facets make up the structure and each is a valid piece of the entirety. You are not obligated to tie yourself down to just one interpretation, one vision, one face. If you feel that it's time to connect with the darkest of dark mothers, do so. If you wish to walk with the lone crone, get ready to move at her purposeful pace. If the queen of love calls to you, answer - don't delay!

Don't forget to be present with any apparent lack of spiritual connection. That's a stepping stone on the journey too. Don't leave that stuff out, as unpleasant and disconcerting as it may be. If you feel as though you've been unplugged, I advise simply standing there with the power out. Listen to that chiming of the mundane pulsing through the darkness. Find god and goddess within that experience. No bells, no whistles, no frills; no visions, no voices, no pretty lights.

You are an alchemist. You are not an alchemist in training. You are not remembering how to be an alchemist. You are an alchemist in this moment - a ruler of spiritual transmutation. Convert base metals into gold with immediate effect and find the coveted universal elixir. Go to it.

You cannot shame yourself into spiritual evolution. (That's what's known as fucking for virginity or bombing for peace.) I recently watched a documentary in which an evangelical children's minister shamed some children into washing their hands of their sins in order to be embraced by God. The children were weeping with guilt, thinking about their supposed transgressions - how they had used profanities at school with their friends and so on. Convinced that they were somehow divorced from divinity, they broke down. One word - no. She should not be permitted to do that to them, and you can refuse to do it to yourself.


Not everyone will view you complexly. Of course you should to be viewed that way, as someone with many nuances and textures and variations within you. But sometimes you will be viewed as someone with only one face, one motive, one keyword to sum you up neatly. It sucks and it always feels like a betrayal. To be boiled down, simplified, turned into a parody of yourself - it's never pleasant. But forgive as quickly as you can. After all, think about how many times you boiled someone else down into what you saw of them rather than what they really were. How often have you replaced someone's overwhelming complexity with a crude cut-out fashioned entirely of your unfounded judgements? It happens. We're all human.

Emotions are diaphanous lessons which you can tie around your neck or pin into your hair like small white flowers, taking them everywhere with you.

If you don't know what you're aiming for in your relationship with someone, try setting it to music. Create a playlist you'll never share with anyone. It's just for you. It is a way to give language to whatever remains unsaid. Analyzing the songs you chose after you've chosen them and threaded them together is so illuminating.

Don't let anyone else tell you how you're feeling. If can't identify the combination of emotions which currently muddies your inner ocean, it doesn't matter. You are not expected to know. You can say you don't know. You can even opt to stay silent until you do know. Just don't let someone else write the script for you.


There is always so much more fire available to you than you realise, and you always have the dry wood to keep it burning.

Self-soothing is one of the central pillars of the feminine principle. Where there are blocks to the act of self-soothing, attention must be paid.

Above all, you are entitled to light up the sky like an eight-pointed star. If you have shrouded yourself, you're still shining - it's just a case of dropping that black blanket and getting on with things, the way you were always meant to. 

Welcome, 2015. I've been waiting for you.