Tuesday, 17 May 2016

WONDERWORKER WEEK: Do You Need to Be Permanently Healed in Order to be a Healer?

Since becoming a business mentor, I regularly speak to people who feel the sincere call to be in service via a heart-centred business. My role is to help them to work out how to execute a winning plan for their business and deal with any blocks which may be coming up for them. Some clients have an acute sense of their own issues and ongoing negative cycles. They feel that they need to sort out all of their own 'stuff' before they can truly assist other people. It's definitely common for people to think things like, 'Who am I to serve when my life isn't perfect?', 'I don't have all the answers', 'I need to make sure my life is stable and happy in every way before I start offering advice to others.'

This is an issue which plagues many people. I think it's part of the, 'Who Am I?' complex - the one which leads people to believe that it's ok for others to be healers or mentors or role models, but not them. They wonder what they have done that's so special. They tell themselves that they are not figures to be followed and that they have no right to speak on matters which interest or concern them.

I guess it can seem as though healers, guides, Tarot readers and people with spiritual businesses of any kind should be in a happy, stable place which reflects their ability to advise other people. It's as if there's a sense that someone should have 'reached the end' of their own struggles before they can deem themselves worthy of offering help or tips. Maybe this is something you're going through right now. If so, allow me to get real with you. 

I am going through a serious healing process at the moment.

I have some issues that I'm dealing with. 

I have some questions which don't currently have any answers. 

I am struggling to make my peace with the painful things that I have been through in the last six months. 

I have received at least three Tarot readings from others relating to the difficulties I am experiencing. 

I am alive. I am encountering a human lifespan. I am therefore subject to the ups and downs of existence. We all are. 

That's ok. 

It's important that I allow myself to keep learning and processing my problems, seeing things from a new perspective, going through issues without shame and without hiding or pretending that my life is perfect.

Being a healer isn't about wearing a facade of perfection and endless calm and unfettered perspective. Actually, I personally wouldn't want to be guided or mentored by someone who seemed to be at the end of their earthly lessons and floating above me in an ethereal cloud of cosmic bliss. It simply wouldn't be very relatable! I would much prefer to feel that my reader or counsellor was empathizing with me. I would want to feel that they could tap into my issues, see them from a personal place, appreciate them and consider them from my angle. I wouldn't want to feel that my chosen guide was superior to me or that they might be unable to truly grasp my all-too-earthly worries. 

For as long as you are alive, you will be learning, developing, updating your ideas.. You will be experiencing pain at times and, of course, joy at times too. Neither of these states necessarily indicate your readiness and willingness to serve others, unless you feel otherwise. 

I know when I am unfit to be of service. I consciously realise that I require the full force of my own attention and all of my time. When that happens, I can always close up shop and ensure that I am making myself into the sole priority. But if I waited until everything was picture perfect and nothing was ever troubling me, I would never have started giving readings! The truth is that all healers, readers, guides etcetera are going through their own personal experiences. 

Of course, they need to be willing and able to put those experiences aside in order to hold space for others, and great healers with a strong sense of commitment to their obligation will find ways to do just that - techniques for processing their own issues whilst remaining strong for their clients. 

Every so often, of course, a healer may realise that they need to put themselves first and take their attention away from their work for a while, but this is not a matter of course. It's not something which is required - it's optional and it needs to be based on your awareness of your own needs and limitations. 

No one's life is perfect. Anyone who chooses to constantly present the appearance of perfection in their inner and outer life is likely to be building a persona which caters to their role as a healer, perhaps choosing to elevate themselves to 'guru status'. 

Your clients do not expect you to be perfect or to be beyond the highs and lows of life. They just expect you to offer the time, focus and commitment that they paid for during your time together. 

Don't tell yourself that healers must be permanently healed. 

Unless you're living on a shelf in a dark room, life is happening to you and you are responding and reacting to it. That's allowed! The more that you experience, the more you can learn - the more you learn, the more you can give to those you choose to serve.


Stick around, dollface..

- A Wounded Healer and her Recipe Book
- 7 Things You Should Know About Spiritual Counselling
- The Intent of the Vision