I made this video almost three years ago. It addresses the fact that sometimes we may want to speak our truth for egoic reasons - reasons of superiority, malice, fear, insecurity, toxic competitiveness. Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to speak in anger just to hurt someone, destroy something or prove a pointless point. Taking a look at this video again makes me realise how long I have been practicing what I preach. I decided some years before I made this video that my personal truth didn't have to be destructive to others, nor would it ever be something I used to glean attention or approval. Making this video was my way of paying that realisation forward to those who may have needed it..
'The words that you choose need to be in alignment with your core principles. Authenticity doesn't have to be vicious.'
Those are the words I chose whilst filming this video and I stand by every single one of them.
Elevating my words to meet the greater needs of the situation was always more fulfilling than sharpening my words like knives and using them to scare and maim people. Believe me, I have tried the latter - I wallowed in that behaviour for years, undoubtedly diminishing relationships and damaging people in the process. I have only thrived and flourished the more I have continued to walk a different path.
So many people think that if you don't brandish your words and use them to win a war then it must be because you are weak or fearful. So many people don't stop to think that perhaps you just refrain from speaking because you genuinely don't think it's going to bring anything positive to the situation. Perhaps you don’t speak because there’s nothing left to say, or because you don’t want to cause more harm than necessary. Perhaps you don't speak because you have absolutely nothing to prove. Perhaps you don't speak because it's your business and no one else's. Perhaps you have plenty that you could say about someone, but you're choosing to rise above your desire to tear them down. Perhaps you choose to honorably keep someone's confidence, even if they have utterly betrayed yours. Perhaps you just want to step over the shit-show and keep moving!
Too many people think that the person who talks and talks and talks about someone must be telling the truth, and that the one who keeps confidence and stays silent must be untrustworthy. What a sad state of affairs we've gotten ourselves in to when silence and discretion look suspect while hot air and angry rages have been elevated to gospel. It's no wonder the political system is shot to hell.
Everything you do with your energy over the course of a day is a fucking choice. That choice is holy.
Your truth is not diminished just because you don't speak it. On the contrary, sometimes it's safer with you. Your truth will wait if you need more time to think about what you want to say - it's not going anywhere. Speak because it's the right time, not because someone expects you to say something. Speak because you mean it, not just because you think you need to respond.
Imagine that you only had a certain number of words to say over the course of your day. Would you use that precious word count up on passive aggression? Catty remarks? Ambiguous statements, designed to confuse others? Would you use it to lie? To alienate people? To generate paranoia and bad feeling in a community? Or could that valuable word count be a gift to people who need it? Could it be a source of harmony and illumination in someone's life? Could it heal a rift? Birth an idea? Put the final piece into a jigsaw puzzle?
Your words can be a force for so much good in this world. Know that you could be wasting hundreds upon hundreds of words on someone who doesn't want to listen whilst someone else out there could be comforted by just one or two sentences from you. Be a shaman with your words. Ignite a fire with your words.
And always remember that, when the situation calls for it, your silence actually speaks volumes.